Step 1 : Commit to do NoFap

Step 2 : Clarify the negative consequences. Determine the truthful consequences of viewing pornography. Use reliable sources and stories. Narrow the list to the top five consequences that you most want out of your life. By deliberately clarifying the consequences before taking action, we increase our chances of choosing wisely.

Step 3 : Clarify the positive consequences of living a loving life (=life without PM). Narrow this list to the top five positive consequences you most want in your life. When you review your consequences, you’ll benefit much more from the positive ones. The more clear, positive, and emotion-filled they are, the better. Remember, you can choose your actions, but you can’t choose different consequences than the actions dictate.

Step 4 : Create your vision using your positive consequences list. Remember the James Allen quotation: “He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it.” Your vision will provide tremendous power. For your mind to see your vision clearly, it needs to be well-defined, vivid, and positive. Make it focused on the benefits to you, not others. Keep it simple (KIS).

Step 5 : Acknowledge all temptations. Remember Victor Frankl’s words, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Immediately acknowledge every temptation plainly, directly, and specifically.

Step 6 : Accept all temptations as normal. Temptations come to all; they are not bad, and they should not cause guilt.

Step 7 : Recognize and exercise your power to choose. Choices are for a single instance only. You are free to choose differently in every instance. This concept is a key to the program and a key to your power. Choosing vision, positive consequences, benefits, and results gives you power. When you tell yourself that you must, have to, better, ought to, should, or are supposed to, you are denying your freedom to choose and thus lose your power.

Step 8 : Use the AACV process to confront and deal with every viewing and doing temptation and any related ones. Write it down and recite it with every temptation without exception.
1.Acknowledge the temptation in first person (“I want to view and do…”).
2.Accept the temptation as normal (“…and it’s OK”).
3.Exercise your freedom to choose (“I am free to choose, and I choose…”).
4.Choose your customized, positive vision .

Step 9 : Embrace the stress, anxiety and discomfort (SAD) of change. Overcoming long-held habits like viewing and doing involves some stress, anxiety and discomfort. Recognize that these feelings are natural and part of starting to live a loving life. Like the title of the self-help book, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Step 10 : Recognize and reject the power takers or failure paths: SAPS and doing it for others. S uppress: When you attempt to suppress the temptation with your own willpower, it will increase in power and refuse to leave. A void: When you attempt to avoid triggers and temptations instead of confronting them directly with the AACV process, the temptation does not go away but increases in power. P rotect: When you rely upon protection, such as computer filters, disconnecting the Internet, and so forth, you have not confronted and dealt with the temptation, so it will not go away. However, please use protection for other people who may access your electronics. S ubstitute: When you try to substitute another thought or action for the temptation, the temptation gains power and comes back strongly because it has not been confronted and dealt with. Do the program for yourself, not for others. Others will benefit, but the power comes from doing it for you.

Step 11 : Recognize the lie in rationalizations. When you provide reasons for your viewing and doing, they are generally not true and not worth it. It’s important to recognize them as lies. Refer to the chapter “Why Do We View Pornography?” for detailed examples.

Step 12 : Repair the damage. Use affirmations on a daily basis to rapidly repair the damage viewing and doing did to your self-image. Set and achieve worthy goals to get back on track to living a loving life.

Step 13 : Repair the relationship. True intimacy is an important part of your relationship with your spouse, and it is formed over years of trust, respect, kindness, and affection. Those not married can work on the foundations of true intimacy to improve their future relationship. Practice listening, sharing, being dependable, being honest, and demonstrating your love.

Step 14 : Practice. Repetition and practice are the keys to mastery. When you’re practicing, you’re expanding your comfort zone. Practice AACV at least twice per day. Practice affirmations once per day. Institute scenario practice regularly, according to the schedule. Be engaged in the conversation and in the community on a regular basis.

Step 15 : Share. Find a way to be the teacher or lead someone to the teachings. The teacher always learns more than the student. Helping another helps you practice and stay engaged.