Blitzo groaned as he mopped the waiting room. Usually, the appalling task was reserved for Moxxie, but he was still working on replacing the walls after the whole "lunatic inventor" incident. With him and his boo currently out searching for 50 square feet of drywall on a budget of around six dollars, Blitzo had reluctantly filled his absence, and was now cursing as he painfully bent over to swab under a chair. Until, his tirade of swears was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Customers? Shit." Blitzo hastily threw the mop and bucket behind him without caring where it landed, dusted his clothes, and made for the door.
"Welcome!" he said, opening the door. Three floating, hooded figures stared back at him, swaddled in raggedy burlap. "You're just in time for 'Heartbreaker' week! All ex-girlfriends and boyfriends are fifty percent o-Euuurgh!"
His face scrunched as he sniffed the air, and he pinched his nose as he addressed the trio.
"You guys mind scooting back a bit? Not to be 'that guy', but you smell like the underside of a donkey dick, and I'm actually trying to clean the place for once. Wait..."
He sniffed again, faint traces of baby powder reaching him through the stench. And as he noticed the telltale glow shining from the visitors, and the halos perched above their heads, Blitzo frowned as he realized who he was talking to. Right on cue, Colin, Cletus, and Keenie revealed themselves from their hoods.
"C.H.E.R.U.B?" Blitzo exclaimed. "So, back for round two, are ya?" He leveled his muzzle-loader at the three. "Not wise to come here, bitches. This is where I KEEP my ammo. LOONA! WHEEL OUT THE GOOD POWDER!"
"YOU MIXED IT ALL WITH YOUR COKE!" the hellhound shouted back from deeper within the building.
"...Damn."
Keenie timidly spoke up. "We're not here to fight you."
"Really? What happened to 'This isn't over?' Your balls drop off? ...Do you guys even, have balls? Or are they like pom-poms or something?"
A flustered Cletus spoke up next. "After you imps screwed up our assignment, we...well... we were kicked out of Heaven."
"Ohohoho, what!?" Blitzo laughed in their faces. "Oh, man, I love it when I cuck a competitor out of business. Looks like we're not just 'filthy demons' are we, Stay-Puft?"
The cherubs crossed their arms and turned their heads with a unified "Hmph."
"So let me guess," Blitzo continued. "The Prick upstairs doesn't want you, staying up on Earth would get you vivisected, so you three sissies had no choice but to come down here. Oh, irony is a ten-dollar whore, isn't she? Well, I hate to break it to you- actually I don't- but you dipshits almost made me look like a clown in front of a very 'eccentric', and very armed, client."
He began closing the door. "And unlike you, I am not in the business of handouts, especially for people on my shit-list. Good luck out there!" he called.
"Wait!" Keenie exclaimed.
With a sigh, Blitzo opened the door and looked the cherub in the eye. "As it happens, I still have my job, so as much as I'd love to continue gloating, I'm very busy today. Unless you're gonna pay me to put you out of your misery, get lost."
"Listen," Colin explained, "We're already lost! We don't know anything about Hell! It's so dark here! And everything is spiky! Why is it all so spiky?" He whined. "And you're right! We don't have anywhere else to go. We've spent the last 2 weeks hiding in an abandoned brothel! And we were told we'd combust if we ever set foot in a brothel!"
"Well, in the dumpster of an abandoned brothel," Cletus added, "The building was already filled with homeless."
Keenie returned Blitzo's gaze. "We've done a lot of talking about this, and, well.... we need help. And you are the only person down here that we know. And seeing that it's your fault that we're here at all, we think it's only fair-"
"Only fair?!" Blitzo interjected.
"Yes, only fair, if you help us out!"
"Teach us how to survive down here!" Colin agreed.
"...Please." a reluctant Cletus said.
Blitzo narrowed his eyes at them.
"And, it wouldn't be a handout." Keenie said. "What we want...is to work for you."
"W-work for me!?" Blitzo stammered. "You must've hit your heads real hard after you got the boot from Graceland."
"Think about it! Your outfit, and ours, are- were, really similar! We both operated in the living world, and we both dealt with humans!" said Colin.
 "We've got the skillset... we just need a teacher." Keenie concluded.
Blitzo scanned the three with his eyes, as the wheels in his head turned. He was surprised at himself for not having slammed the door in their faces yet.
"Hmm..." he muttered. The three cherubs clasped their hands at this, and gave him puppy-dog eyes.
While on the surface it was unthinkable, to have creatures from Heaven as part of I.M.P.,  Blitzo had to admit that he ran the organization pretty loosely when it came to "rules" and "laws". He was fairly sure that just having Stolas' book on hand would get him in more hot water than harboring three exiled cherubs. As he stared at the trio, he realized that these thoughts weren't like him. Why was he even considering their proposal?
Could it be that he agreed on the matter of a similar skillset? That he saw potential in them when they had dueled in the opera house?
Could it be that he wanted to boss around the creatures who had once acted so above him? The bragging rights that came with employing former competitors, the perverse pleasure he'd get from the constant reminder that he was the apex capitalist?
Or could it be something more unbecoming? Could it be that he did feel somewhat responsible for the cherubs' fall from grace? That he wanted to atone in some way? That, through Blitzo's long and storied history, he knew firsthand what it felt like to be cast out, to be alone and afraid, to be turned loose to the hostile world and left to fend for himself, time after time?
Those puppy eyes must be getting to him.
While it was a mixture of all the above reasons, that influenced his decision, the one he'd admit to himself, and to M&M later, was that it'd be kind of kick-ass to have employees who could fly.
As a vision crossed his mind of himself, clad in Pickelhaube, raining down hot death from above in a belt-fed, cherub-drawn balloon, the decision was made.
He cleared his throat. "Unfortunately, I am not currently hiring any new positions at the moment."
The three visibly deflated towards the ground.
"But," Blitzo added.
They rose up again.
"I would be willing to take you on and train you as, ah, interns."
"Interns?" asked Cletus.
"Yep. Unpaid, of course. And it's a trial position, so if you fuck me over, you're gone."
A beat of silence passed as the cherubs looked at each other.
"We'll take it!" shouted a now beaming Keenie.
"Then, welcome aboard!" Blitzo exclaimed. "A couple months with the Blitz here? You'll have the entire ring sucking from your finger. Or more..."
"Um, we forgot to ask, about, um, housing." Colin said, meekly.
"Well, that'll be part of your first assignment, lamb chop. That brothel you mentioned? Go down there, kick those hobos out on their diseased asses, and take the place for yourselves. Consider it your aptitude test."
"E-Evict the homeless?" Cletus stuttered.
"We couldn't do that to the downtrodden!" Keenie said.
"Oh don't play Little Miss Muffet now, Dolly. I remember how you three threw your tantrum at the opera. Cussing up a storm, shooting to kill, throwing hands with my employees."
"You provoked us!" Colin interjected. "We were stressed, and we lost our temper and-"
Blitzo snapped his fingers in the cherub's face. "Hey hey hey, don't apologize. If you're gonna make it down here, you'll need to tap into that attitude."
Keenie started, "I-I don't think we could..."
"Stop selling yourselves short and face it. You act all holier than thou, but the truth is? You three are sinners, aren't you? And cutting loose like that felt good, didn't it?" Blitzo hissed.
The cherubs all looked at the floor guiltily.
"Well, that's enough chitchat, I've gotta get back to being the boss. Ring me when you've done the deed."
Colin floated towards the door. "T-Thank you, Mister-"
Blitzo held up a finger to his mouth. "Yeah, nah, that pussy talk will get you tied to a radiator real quick. Try... 'You better keep your end of the deal, motherfucker.'"
Colin pursed his lips, then tried to speak back the words. "You better, keep your end of the deal, m-mother-"
"C'mon, get mad! Everybody now!"
All three, with more volume, spoke slightly more confidently. "You better keep your end-"
"You're talking to the guy that got you KICKED OUT OF HEAVEN. Let me hear it!"
The three stood tall and screamed at Blitzo at the top of their lungs. "YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR END OF THE DEAL MOTHERFUCKER!"
"Go get 'em, tigers."
Turning in unison, the cherubs took off for whence they came at blinding speed. Blitzo watched with a proud, paternal smirk. Maybe, just maybe, he could make real Demons out of them.
In all likelihood, though, they'd probably just get themselves shanked.
But it was a welcome distraction, all things considered. Blitzo turned back into the building, and headed for his room, making a mental note to add "Mop Waiting Room" to Moxxie's To-Do list.