Captivated

"I'm tired of these copycats!" Haachama exclaimed as she slammed her fist down on her desk. "I was eating crazy things before these people even started streaming! Crickets? I eat crickets for breakfast! WHAT DOES NIJISANJI EVEN MEAN?!" The small statured blonde had never been so incensed. "And what? I'm just supposed to believe that eating tarantulas and burning takoyaki isn't good content?!" She was practically howling at this point. "Oh, Haato, you can't eat 6 whole ghost peppers at once. Oh, Haato, you can't eat bees' nests while the bees are still inside. Oh, Haato, you can't keep trying to send live pigs to Polka in the mail because it's "not funny." Well Yagoo can't stop me because that's not even my name! I'll show them! I'll show the whole world my power!!" Of course, no one was actually in the room to hear Haachama's consternations but that didn't matter.

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"What's so bad about sam-o-nill-a? I eat fish all the time. And what does salmon have to do with cows?" Haachama wasn't really sure what Kaichou was trying to tell her, something about raw cow meat being "dangerous." How could it be dangerous? The cow would already be dead. Haachama wasn't crazy, after all. "No, you really need to fully coo-" Coco's pleas for Haachama to be reasonable were cut short as Haachama interrupted, "Sorry, Kaichou, gotta go! My favorite show is on!" she hung up the phone and turned up the volume on her tv. Kitchen Nightmares had always been Haachama's favorite show. "I can't believe they just give these receipes away for free on tv!'' she thought to herself.

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She had spent the afternoon combing through Youtube. People streamed themselves eating fire noodles, people streamed themselves eating bugs, people streamed themselves eating "Cali-for-nya Ree-purs," people streamed themselves eating all kinds of things. Haachama could do that. She wasn't sure about that last one though, Mori seemed hesitant when Haachama suggested letting herself be cooked on stream, but Haachama was sure she could figure something out. The real mystery was how to prepare it. She couldn't just eat them all one at a time, that would be boring. She needed to spice things up. Kaichou told her that if she wanted the whole world to watch then she really need to "captivate the audience." "But how am I supposed to captivate all those people at the same time?" Haachama wondered. It just didn't make sense. Kaichou couldn't have been captivating a million people every day, she must have misspoken. She would have to figure it out later. First she needed a guest, collab streams always got more viewers and Haachama needed this to be seen by all of Youtube. Everyone she had messaged on discord so far had turned her down, Towa told her "no one would ever agree to this" because they would "die." Her kohais were always so funny! Finally she managed to get someone to agree, Haachama couldn't wait to see all the reactions on twitter when they heard Nene would be collabing with her. This was perfect! Haachama hadn't actually told Nene what they would be doing, but she was sure it would be fine.

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Nene was a bit hesitant as she walked up the street to Haachama's place. Haachama's streams tended to go more than a little overboard sometimes, but the poor girl had been through so much lately that Nene couldn't help but feel sympathetic. Nene knocked on the door and waited but all she heard from within was loud clattering and the longer she waited the louder the clattering seemed to grow. "Maybe Lamy was right about this..." Nene thought, nervously biting at one of her nails, but just as Nene was about to leave the door finally opened and Nene found herself embraced by a very calm, very collected, Akai Haato. "Ha-Haato-chan...!" Nene exclaimed, almost more of a question than anything. "Nene it's so good to see you, hahaha" Haato? exclaimed, "Come on in, I was just making dinner." Nene followed Haato inside. The place was a wreck. Trash and random objects were strewn all over the floor. And the smell, oh god it was awful. Spoiled and rotten food was left on dirty dishes haphazardly tossed on nearly every surface. Haato caught Nene's questioning glances. "Would you believe Chloe did all this? I mean, I know people said her bedroom was "messy" but this is ridiculous! She has only, I mean was only here for a week." "O-oh.. haha, yeah Chloe sure is sloppy." Nene agreed, her fingers pinched tightly on her nostrils, "Shouldn't we be cleaning all this up though? This would be an awful sight for the viewers." Nene exclaimed, gesturing around the kitchen. "Oh right right, the stream. You see, about that..." Haato said, a distinctly different tone entering her voice. By the time Nene noticed the syringe in the reflection of the refrigerator door it was already entering her neck. "Sleep tight, Nene-chan..." the haunting lilt of Haachama's laughter was the last thing Nene heard before she hit the floor.

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"HAAAAAAAAAAACHAMACHAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! WELCOME TO HAACHAMA COOKING!" Haachama watched as messages flooded the chat. Haachama! Haachama cooking! Hi Haachama! What are you eating today? Nene doko? The chat was moving a mile a minute. "So many people are here!" Haachama thought to herself. This was perfect! But the chat's enthusiasm would quickly turn to horror as Haachama turned the camera. "And welcome today's special guest, NENE!" Nene was slumped, head lolled down to her chest, in a chair, the only thing saving her from falling being the straps around her wrists and ankles fastening her to where she sat. "Time for cooking!" Haachama yelled in excitement, seemingly entirely uninterested in her "friend's" unconcious state. "Today we are making Haachama's Special Everything Fantastic Amazing uhh.. Oh My God Good Fucking Food Milkshake!" Haachama exclaimed, clearly making the name up as she went. She explained to chat about all the videos she saw and her plan to eat everything at once. Most of the chat ignored her ramblings in favor of expressing concern for Nene but a few chat members were perhaps a bit too disappointed to hear that Mori wouldn't be cooked today. Haachama ignored them as she began shoving things into an oversized blender. Hot peppers, uncooked fire noodles, caterpillars, crickets, what appeared to be a chunk of a bee hive, raw chicken (Haachama explained to chat that she was using raw chicken because raw beef often contains salmon, which can be dangerous,)  cooking oil, bacon greese, and a whole host of other unidentifiable substances, all together to form this "Haachama Milkshake."

Nene began to stir as the blender kicked on. Her head ached and her vision was blurry as she tried to look around. "Whuh.. wush hapenen.." Nene's speech was slurred, whatever she had been injected with hadn't fully worn off yet. "OUR SPECIAL GUEST IS FINALLY AWAKE!" Haachama yelled at the top of her lungs, "It's all thanks to Nene that this stream is happening today as Nene agreed to be the first person ever to drink my special shake!" Haachama exclaimed as she turned to Nene expectantly. "I.. I dinn.. dinnagreedo anyf..." Nene’s slurred response was quickly deafened by more of Haachama’s incessant laughter. "Oh oopsie, I almost forgotted the most important part HAHAHA" Haachama said in her trademark half-australian, half-gibberish 'Haachama english' as she injected something else into Nene's neck. With a sudden jolt Nene was wide awake and subsequently in a state of panic.  She thrashed in her binds as she asked what was going on. "It's our Haachama cooking collab, Nene," Haachama replied as if this was an average situation, "I captivated you for it just like Kaichou said HAHAHA! Time for your milkshake!"

It was the most foul thing Nene had ever smelled, it took everything she had not to vomit immediately just having it close to her face. "Haachama I can't! There is no way I can drink that!" Nene protested, yanking at the wrist straps with renewed vigor. "You can't drink it? Oh no.." Haachama said quietly, going from manic to depressed in an instant. A long silence came over the room as Haachama stood stock still, her face completely blank. For a second Nene was almost more concerned for Haachama than she was for herself. "Ah AH AHAHAHAHA!" The silence was shattered as Haachama suddenly began to laugh hysterically, "I know what to do!" Nene couldn't see Haachama as she bent over behind the counter but she could here pots and pans clanging together. The color drained from Nene's face as Haachama popped back into view. "I forgot I had this funnel!" she exclaimed, "I got this for Polka's birthday but when I tried to give it to her she got really angry, so I've just been keeping it this whole time HAHAHA!"
"No Haachama please-" Haachama took Nene's open mouth as all the invitation she needed to shove the funnel right in. "Down the hatch!" Haachama exclaimed as she began pouring in the 'milkshake.' Nene's urge to vomit was overwhelming and immediate, gagging and sputtering the awful liquid back up into her mouth, but Haachama just kept pouring. With her eyes wide, Nene knew what she had to do, swallow or drown. It was hell. Nene could feel solid bits scraping at her throat as she forced herself to swallow. She almost threw up again as the first gulp hit her stomach. Her stomach was already violently rebelling and the pouring had barely even begun. The chat was on fire, chatters in all caps screaming and begging for Haachama to stop, and even stranger the ones demanding this go on forever, but nothing would deter Haachama from this. Nothing would stop the greatest stream ever.

It felt like it had been hours, days, years could have passed before Haachama finally poured the last bit of shake and removed the funnel. "OOOoooh god *UUUURRPP* Haachama why... *GRRLKRRRLL* *UURRP*" Nene groaned and gurgled in her chair. Some of the awful substance came back up between belches, flowing out of Nene's slack jaw. "Chat wants to know how it tastes, Nene?" Haachama asked, even though no one in chat did. Nene couldn't reply, she could hardly even form coherent thoughts. As the violent hellstorm in her stomach mounted, the shake found yet another way to increase her intestinal suffering. *FFRRRTTTT* The farts were loud, long and lethal. "Eeeww HAHAHA!" Haachama laughed. Nene's intestinal agony grew so loud it was even being picked up on stream. While the more compassionate chat members tried to think of any way they could get medical attention for Nene, some of the more rambunctious viewers started trying to subtitle Nene's sustained stomach sorrows. "Oh my god look everyone HAHAHAHA look at Nene's belly!" Haachama laughed, pointing towards Nene's bloated belly. All the liquid and gas was bloating Nene's belly to an extreme measure, much to Haachama's entertainment. She began poking and shaking Nene's poor tortured gut, causing renewed groaning, farting and belching from the distressed captive.

Haachama looked back at her computer screen to find her chat complaining that they couldn't see. Haachama noticed her viewer number rising, apparently some kaigai-niki website had caught wind of the stream and were pouring in en masse. Eager to please her new 'world wide' audience, Haachama quickly undid Nene's binds and forced her to her feet. With her hands freed, Nene could only clutch her belly in agony, groaning and belching as she was forced in front of the camera. Haachama pulled Nene's shirt up and turned her to the side, showing chat her massively distended belly. "I lost? HAHAHA What did you lose?" Haachama asked as she tried to read her warp speed stream chat. Seeing that her chat was going wild for Nene's belly noises, Haachama began tormenting her abused stomach yet again, each poke and prod eliciting a burp or fart from the poor girl. "If they are going this crazy just for some poking..." Haachama thought to herself as she reeled back her arm. With a slap to Nene's bloated belly a loud squelching could be heard as vomit rained down on to the camera just before the stream cut out.